Quiet

“Be quiet! Come out of him!” -Luke 4:35

As much as I am forced to keep silent because of my sore throat and croaky voice right now, I believe that the Lord is uttering the same line as in the verse above, with great authority and power, to the green-eyed monsters within me. Yes, they have been silent lately and I am finally at peace. Nothing beats the calm that comes from the Lord.

I know nothing can tear me apart when I am on the Lord's side.

I pray to the heavens that this persists. I admit that I am not the most positive person on this earth but with the Lord's grace, I am trying my best to change my usual ways of thinking... to go beyond my comfort zone and brave the uncertainties in life that often rattle me and get the best of me.

Hope. He gives me hope. He gives me something to look forward to each day. After all, the darkest days become our brightest when we are with God.

Lord, I desire Your comfort and peace. Amen.

Ciao!

Victorious Weekend

On a lighter note, I am just overwhelmed with God's power and grace for what had transpired this weekend. All praises to Him for a very victorious St. Scho LSS # 17!!! Weeeeee!

I thank the Lord for giving me the chance to minister to His lambs. 
Thank You for allowing me to serve You this weekend. I am but an instrument. 

Miracles did happen.

To start off, I woke up worried because my throat hurt and I lost my voice (due to the incessant talking I did during the Parent-Teacher Conference in the preschool). How could I lead if I couldn't talk? I tried singing (yes, feel ko lang kumanta sa umaga! Haha!) but what came out was something like a frog's croak. I was starting to breakdown (especially with the unexpected turn of events care of  my brother, Robby, which I choose not to elaborate on. Haha!), but I tried my best to shoo the negativity and have faith that it will come back and everything will be fine. On the way to the venue, I prayed and surrendered everything to God because I believe that when He appoints, He anoints; He would not let anything go wrong for sure. And lo and behold, the God of wonders just never falls short of that. When I was interceding for the lambs in the Vigil, my throat loosened up and I suddenly found myself singing. Not my normal singing voice but I was not croaking anymore. Tita Marge anointed and prayed over me and I knew I was restored. By the time I got to Kuniberta Hall, I was confident that the Lord would not disappoint. He never does, anyway! I was able to speak clearly during the Baptism and my throat did not hurt at all. Right after, I lost my voice again. If that's not a miracle, I do not know what that is anymore.

During the baptism, it was such a blessing to see the lambs surrender to God. Truly, lives were transformed by His healing power. It was such a beautiful and amazing sight. Lord, You are simply GREAT.

Thank You, Lord, for the gift of service, for this awesome chance to be of service to You. Service to God should never feel like a chore. Because if does, it loses its essence. 

I remember the lines from a song --  "Give and it will come back to you..." Yes, when you give to the Lord, blessings come back to you a hundred, thousand, million fold.

Looking forward to more, Jesus!

Ciao!


Rejected

They rose up, dragged Jesus out of town, and took him to the top of the hill on which their town was built. They meant to throw him over a cliff... -Luke 4:29

Jesus is Rejected at Nazareth.

Imagine Jesus being pushed, dragged, and about to be thrown over a cliff? What a very harsh and ruthless thing to do to anyone... especially if that person does nothing wrong and just says the Truth about who He is. While reading this verse, I saw a vivid image in my head of such thing. It was just plain wrong - doing something like that to a God.

I've never seen the relevance of this passage in my life until today. I knew that every time I chanced upon this story in the Bible before, I easily judged those Nazareans for being so blind, for not seeing Jesus for who He really is... For rejecting a God because of their selfishness and pride.

But this morning, it had a different effect on me. I realized that I am not different from those Nazareans. I actually saw myself, my sinful self in them. I realized that every time I sin, I push Jesus away, the same way they did thousands of years ago. Every time I sin, I drag and force Jesus to the edge of that cliff. Every time I sin, I drive those long nails through His hands and feet. Every time I sin, I reject my loving God.

The verse above was very graphic that I just can't get the scene out of my head. It dawned on me how I have done such act so many times. I imagined myself pushing Jesus (literally) away from my side when all He wants is to be close to me and to love me. I felt guilty and unworthy. I felt sad and ashamed because it seems like I was one of those who conspired about His death on the cross. I was an instrument to the crime that happened 2000 years back. I felt sorry for treating Jesus terribly and inhumanely. He did not, and won't ever deserve anything like that.

"Prophets are never welcomed in their hometown." Yes, I now get what Jesus meant when He said that. He expected the people from His own town, His very own kababayans, to welcome Him with open arms and accept Him as the Messiah BUT they ended up to be the ones who did not want to do anything with Him... that they easily shut Him out from their lives. And when they told Him to ‘Do here in your native place the things that we heard were done in Capernaum.’ Jesus just could not because they were not ready for His miracles and blessings. They were simply not ready for Him.

In the same way,  we, His children, His friends, His brothers and sisters, His beloved, are the ones He expects to love Him completely, to accept Him fully, and to spare Him from any hurt BUT we are the same people who do otherwise. How ironic, right? Just as how easy it is for us to hurt those whom we love most or how easy it is for those who love us most to hurt us (so deeply), it is just so easy to hurt and turn our backs on Jesus when we sin. And whenever we reject Him, we prevent ourselves from seeing His miracles and close ourselves from His blessings. How sad is that?

I am now convicted to be stronger in my faith and to do everything to avoid sin because I just could not take pushing Jesus to the edge of the cliff and dragging Him out of my life. I know it is not easy, especially when I am already at the face of temptation... But every time I reach that crossroad between good and bad, life and sin, I'll remember that image and hopefully, gather the courage to choose life in His fold.

Ciao!

Talents

To one he gave five talents; to another, two; to a third, one to each according to his ability. -Matthew 25:15


Lord, I know You will not give me anything that I cannot bear. I pray that you bless the work of my hands as I help out in building Your Kingdom here on earth. Allow me to grow my talents so that I may glorify you through them. Bless me more so I may bless others more. All that I do is for You. Amen!


Looking forward to a victorious Baptism tomorrow! I believe that at this very moment, healing is taking place, miracles are unfolding. The Lord has already won back the lives of his once lost lambs!


I offer this weekend to my God. As the billboard we saw earlier says, "In all that you do, give glory to God." (1 Corinthians 10:31). You are everything I want and need you to be.


Ciao!

Love language

...that in him you were enriched in every way, with all discourse and all knowledge, as the testimony to Christ was confirmed among you, so that you are not lacking in any spiritual gift as you wait for the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ. -1 Corinthians 1:5-7


For some reason, it just popped into my mind this afternoon how our language of love is related to how we serve the Lord through the gifts He has given us. Very timely because the first reading speaks of how God equips us in our service to Him. Thus, when I re-read the readings for today, I got the Lord's confirmation to write about the gifts through which I am able to show my love for Him and serve Him.

I've always said how words are important to me and how I feel love when I receive affirmation from the people I value most, whether verbal or in written form. I am also able to express my love to them in return through words, especially when I write it down. Therefore, I have come to recognize that my primary language of love is WORDS.

In the same way, I just realized that my primary language of love to God is likewise WORDS. Come to think of it, I help in His ministry by leading worship, giving teachings and exhortations, and through what I have been doing in this blog... all of which entail speaking or writing. More so, my job as a preschool teacher, is also one way I get to SPEAK of His love, as I minister to little kids. Add to that my ultimate dream of writing and publishing children's book that, of course, speak the truth about Jesus and God's love. 

When I completed my Five-Year Life Dreams Success Journal (by Bo Sanchez), I came up with my life mission which is:

to use my talents in teaching and writing to serve and touch others so that they may grow in Christ and  live a happy and full life.

I didn't realize then but the two gifts that I wrote down are both related to WORDS. I believe that this is the language through which I am best able to express my love and this applies even to God. Slowly but surely, I am fulfilling this mission in my own little ways. I continue to pray each day to the Lord that He allows me to grow these talents so that I may enrich myself and my loved ones emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and even financially, and serve Him better through what I do.

The language of love-service to God analogy doesn't just apply to me. I see it in Rye, whose primary language of love is SERVICE. As much as he works hard for his loved ones so that he could provide for them and prepare for the future, he gives his all in his work so that he may earn more for the Lord. He has the kindest, most generous heart and he is just ready to give what he has in order to help out in the Lord's ministry, wherever financial help is needed most. 

Another example is Mico, whose primary language of love is also SERVICE. He would wait for me or Robby for hours just so we have a ride going to school or back home. He would go as far as MOA to pick up Robby and drive back to Antipolo if necessary because that's one of the ways he expresses his love to his family. He would even go back home to get a gift for Robby's friend which he forgot to bring even if he was running late for his oral exam. In a similar way, he expresses his love to the Lord by devoting his time and talent in playing the guitar through the Praise/Music Ministry. Wherever the Lord takes him, he would go - from San Carlos, to Makati, to Alabang, to UP, to PICC, or Baguio; Surely, he'll be there to make music for Him.

I used to believe that I did not possess any talent or gift but I now realize that to say that is an insult to our Creator. We are beyond blessed and all the more equipped because it is our primary purpose and goal to serve and glorify our God. We are able to do different things for Him because we love Him, and the best way we express this love is through the language closest to our hearts. If we can show our love to the people dearest to us through this special language, what more to our God?

What's your love language? Do you use it to serve and praise Him? It's time you do. 

Ciao!

Role model

...We wanted to present ourselves as a model for you, so that you might imitate us. -2 Thessalonians 3:9

Today was not the best teaching day for me. I was not in the mood to be all giddy and happy around the kids and was easily irritated and frustrated whenever things did not go as planned. For some reason, I just could not get myself to smile especially if you've got kids throwing tantrums every minute and throwing toys every time you're not looking... that I found myself taking several 5-second breathers outside the classroom. Maybe it's the stress and the lack of sleep already taking their toll on me. Or these things that have been boggling my mind lately. Or oppressions for the upcoming LSS. I don't know.  Admittedly, there are good days and bad days on the job just like any other job in the world.

Yet, reading the Word for today one last time as the day closes in made me realize the importance of my role to these kids, to my toddlers. I am a model for them, and whatever they see in me may have an impact on them especially at this time of impressions. They are like sponges who have the capacity to absorb anything and everything under the sun, and it is my responsibility that they absorb as many good and positive things as they can while they are under my care. If I impart love, they will absorb love and share that love with others as well. If I create a joyful and fun atmosphere in class, they will be happy kids who end up loving school. However, if I maintain a grumpy and irritable attitude as I teach, I will end up with a class full of easily agitated kids. Love begets love. Hate begets hate. 

With that, I ask the Lord to help me be enthusiastic about work each and every day... to be reminded always of my role to these kids and of my purpose in doing what I do. 

So that as I do my job, I may give and not count the cost, toil and not seek for rest, and labor and not ask for any reward because I know that I am doing all these for You, my God.

Ciao!

PS. Please pray with me that I do well in my exam tomorrow :) I'm not used to this anymore. Oh, my! Haha. 

Lord, guide my thoughts as I answer each question. Amen.

God is near

The Lord is near to all who call upon Him... -Psalm 145:18


Even if there are tons to do each day, I'm getting things done and things are slowly falling into place. I'm taking everything in stride... in faith that the Lord will pull me through, no matter what. And because of that, I don't rant as much anymore. I can control negative feelings and thoughts better. I have become more hopeful and less anxious on what tomorrow may bring.


I feel a certain calm at this moment. There's peace in my heart, now that I constantly seek the Lord in prayer and through His Word. It's good to be on His side, don't you think? He is near to those who call upon Him.


Seek Jesus. That's the key.


Ciao!

Have faith. Take courage.

...because your faith flourishes ever more. -2 Thessalonians 1:3

It was heartbreaking to watch the news today. Indeed, heaven is shedding buckets, mourning for the tragedy that had transpired in Quirino Grandstand. Innocent lives claimed, traumatized hearts and spirits remain.

It is during times like this that the Lord calls us to let our faith in Him flourish even more. We might have the usual "Why, Lord?" question plaguing our minds right now. But I am led to hold such thoughts and just go down on my knees and pray for our country, for the hurt, for the bereaved, for the broken, and the lost such as Mendoza.

Our God is bigger than all of this.
Jesus, calm the storm in all of us.

Ciao!

PS. Please pray for Rye who is down with fever right now. He lives alone in Palawan and obviously, I can't fly there tonight.

Lord, please touch Rye with Your healing grace at this very moment. Take care of Him for me. Amen.

Humility

Whoever makes himself great will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be made great. -Matthew 23:12

Lord, teach me to be humble in all that I do... and in my humility, may You always be made great. Amen.

What a long day... but thank you, Lord, for helping me. I feel like I accomplished much. You really are my Superhero. Good thing I wore the shirt today as a constant reminder of your faithfulness. You never fail to lift me up.

Ciao!

Prophesy

August 20 Reflection

God said to me: "Mortal man, prophesy to the wind. Tell the wind that the Sovereign Lord commands it to come from every direction, to breathe into these dead bodies, and to bring them back to life." -Ezekiel 37:9

It is a command: PROPHESY.

The message was clear in the First Reading - the Lord shows us how He has given us the authority to breathe life into our dreams. He tells us to PROPHESY, to expect, to foresee these dreams coming true and it shall be done... just as He used Ezekiel to prophesy to the wind and will it to breathe life into the dead bones in the valley.

There is indeed power in our words and authority in our visions because God himself planted these things in our hearts and is fully capable of making them true. With His grace, our prophesies, our hopes, our plans, our deepest desires shall unravel before our very eyes. He himself says in His Word, "I have promised, and I will do it" (Ezekiel 37:14).

However, we should be clear with our motivations. Unless they are for God, they lose power and essence. They lose significance, and therefore, our attempts to pursue them are and should become futile. 

Think about it... 
Think about those plans that did not push through. Think about the drive that fed those dreams. Nothing can be more frustrating than a failed dream, I know, but in the end, I now realize that the most potent dreams that have full potential to blossom and become real are those that God has planted in the deepest recesses of our hearts, those that He has intimately and lovingly authored in our lives. Those are the dreams that we should should work on. Those are the dreams that we should expect to happen, be it in the near or distant future. All in God's time.

The Lord reminds me (in today's gospel) that I should not forget His greatest commandments as I work on these dreams:

Love God above all (Matthew 22:37)
Love your neighbor as you love (Matthew 22:38)

I know these dreams are possible and will be fulfilled ONLY because they will bring glory to my God. As much as He would help us in each and every step in achieving these dreams,  in all that we do, we must remember that He must be the end goal. He is the ultimate prize.

With that, Lord, I prophesy that these dreams and prayers will be fulfilled in Your own appointed time:

  • Maria Anna Katrina M. Fernandez, MA - by 2012
  • Put up a Preschool by age 30 - my very own children's ministry where I can continue evangelizing to His beloved (So excited for this!)
  • Support a ministry, foundation, cause that aim to help young children and the youth
  • Write and publish my own children's books someday (Rye and Robby will be my illustrators)
  • Open new income streams - bless me more so I can bless others more
  • Get married, have a family of my own. Bless us with healthy, God-fearing kids :)
  • Enjoy simple joys with my loves (Lord, if you may, I hope I can see the world with them!)
I also prophesy that my loved ones' dreams and prayers will become a reality through Your generous graces and blessings. 

And yours, too!

Be blessed!

Ciao!

Taking a breather

I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you, taking from your bodies your stony hearts and giving you natural hearts. -Ezekiel 36:26

I am on break. 5-minute break that is. 

The deadline of my PTC reports is tomorrow and I am not yet done. I tried not to cram and started early this week but the load is just heavy. Sometimes I wonder if parents really read and scrutinize these reports. I hope   they do because I really work hard on them. 

I felt the Lord's lambing again today through His Word, particularly in the First Reading from Ezekiel. It's amazing how you get to see the story between God and His people unfold as you read the scriptures each day. No matter how angry God gets for the foolishness and sinfulness of His people, the ending never changes. It's the same each time - God vindicates His people and accepts them with open arms again and again. Yes, again and again and again. That's how GREAT He is. He might have the worst temper in the Old Testament but He never fails to make lambing again to His people by blessing them even more despite the wrong they have done. In the same way, every time I think I fail in His eyes, especially when I sin, He offers me forgiveness even before I ask. He makes this known through His word, through the people around me, and the big and small blessing I continue to receive. He gives me countless chances to redeem myself because I know I am worth a second, a third, a fourth chance and more. 

I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit in you.

God really makes all things new. As I am pressed for time and burdened with these endless tasks, I feel like I am constantly being renewed. He won't let me down. He replaces my bruised heart with a fresh heart filled with hope to carry on. He revives my battered spirit, which gives me a kick to get moving once again. I know I can do this. I can finish this. For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil 4:13).

Ciao!

Refreshed

Last night, I slept with a heavy heart as I was feeling burdened with something. There were demands that had to be met, which I believe are beyond what I should be doing. I am giving more than what I should and somehow feel shortchanged. What they are, it doesn't matter anymore. Soon enough, doubt and resentment were starting to creep into my mind again. I just knew I had to shoo those negative thoughts away or else...

Fast forward to this morning, God's little surprise came in the form of Psalm 23. 

Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 
In verdant pastures he gives me repose; 
beside restful waters he leads me; he refreshes my soul. 
He guides me in right paths for his name’s sake. 
Even though I walk in the dark valley I fear no evil; 
for you are at my side with your rod and your staff that give me courage. 
You spread the table before me in the sight of my foes; 
you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 
Only goodness and kindness follow me all the days of my life; 
and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD for years to come.


I read Psalm 23 on the way to work. I was refreshed in an instant. Each line brought comfort and peace within.

It’s just beautiful how God’s word today made me feel His warm embrace. It was like drinking a cup of hot cocoa, while snuggled up under my comfy blankie with the one I love most on a rainy morning. It brought a fuzzy feeling in my heart, a gentle but reassuring cuddle from Above. He really knows how to make His presence known to those whom He loves. I’m just glad and filled with gratitude to have a God who loves me and cares for me deeply ; a God who guides me and protects me; a God who promises to fill my cup to the brim. 

My cup overflows. That's His promise, and in faith, I believe. I have nothing to fear for only goodness and kindness follow me.

Just as last night, every time negative feelings start to cover the sunshine, I call unto Him and tell Him to fill my heart with His light once more. Every time I go back to my old ways of thinking and living, He redirects my path and becomes my saving grace. 

God is faithful indeed to His promises. I know my God is always ready and willing to look for me and look after me, His (once) one lost lamb, no matter what. That verse in Ezekiel really struck me. For He said "I myself will look after and tend my sheep" (Ezekiel 34:11). He himself. No one else. Because I am THAT special :)

***
In the same way that the Lord is my shepherd, I pray that He makes me His worthy and prepared undershepherd this coming St. Scho LSS. I am putting on my full "Jesus" gear because I know the battle is already taking place. 

Lord Jesus, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Please fill me with your peace, love, hope and wisdom so I may minister to your lambs. Protect me from the evil one and keep me focused on You alone, Lord. Use me as you please. I am yours. Amen!

Ciao!

Overwhelmed

“For human beings this is impossible, but for God all things are possible.” - Matthew 19:26


I am getting overwhelmed by the things I need to accomplish this week and the next. I just wonder why everything has to happen this August - PTC, Proposal Deadlines, Res Sem Exam, St. Scho LSS.


I have started my PTC reports but have a long way to go.
I have started my Proposal Intro but have pages and pages (and pages and pages) to fill out.
I have started reading my Res Sem book but I barely remember anything.
I have started preparing for the St. Scho Baptism (Yes, I have a line-up. That's it. Haha.) but everything's still vague for now.


Unaccomplished tasks that need to be crossed out from my To-Do list ASAP.


For the simple human being that I am, such great tasks are daunting


But in faith, with the help of my God, my awesome, ever-faithful, loving God, I can do this. For nothing is impossible with You, Lord.


And I just realize now that my August is about to end with a BANG. I'm going to end it giving Glory to Him! 


Thank you for choosing me, Lord, to minister to your St. Scho Lambs. It is not easy, I know. But I am merely an instrument. Use me as a vessel of Your love and grace. Bless my hands, my heart, my mind, and my spirit so that in all that I do, You, and only You may be glorified.


I also seek your help in praying with and for Rye. He's got a lot of things on his mind right now, especially about work. 


Lord Jesus, I pray that you bless Rye. Fill him with your love, your wisdom and your strength so he may go through each day boldly and full of faith in what You can do. I lift up to You all our petitions and the dreams that you have etched in our hearts. We claim that each one will be answered and fulfilled in your appointed time. 


Amen. A resounding AMEN to that.


Time to get back to work. Slowly but surely, I am moving. Let's get things done, Lord.


Ciao!

Let go

...Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me. -Matthew 19:21

Follow me.

Lord, I cast all my cares upon you. In faith, You know what's best for me. You are a God who provides. Give me the grace to trust in your provisions... to let go of the unnecessary... to surrender the excesses. Fill my heart with contentment and gratitude for all the blessings that you continue to bestow. Amen

Ciao!

7:03 PM 
August 16, 2010

Like a child

“Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” - Matthew 19:14


Every time I'm feeling down about work, I always come back to this verse. It reminds me of my purpose... Of why I got here in the first place.


I'd like to think that through my job, I am helping build His kingdom. I am able to bring His little ones closer to Him just as He commands in the passage above. And that should suffice. God is enough.


Harder to see through this though at times, especially if you have financial matters to think about. You see, teaching is not the highest paying job in the world. It's really a job borne out of pure love and service. And that, I believe in all honesty and faith, is beautiful. 


Yet sometimes, in this harsh world we live in, pure love cannot place food on the table. Pure love cannot make dream weddings happen or Jason Magbanua onsite videos materialize from thin air. Haha. Hay. The stuff I'm thinking about.


But then again, I just believe that something great will come out of this. I have to constantly remind myself that I am planting healthy seeds today which I will eventually reap abundantly in the future... Soon! If this is really God's purpose and will for me, then it will allow me to grow in every aspect, in every way -- spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and even financially. It will come. Especially the last one. It will come :)


Lord, I pray that you give me child-like faith so I may trust you completely and surrender my life to you fully. Let your will be done. Amen.


Ciao!


10:40 AM
August 15



(August 14 Reflection)

Jesus saves


...I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you; you became mine, says the Lord GOD. - Ezekiel 16:8

You became Mine.

How sweet it is to be called Mine by our God. Nakakakilig.

With this simple statement comes one of His greatest promises to us - that He will never leave our side; that nothing can ever separate us from Him because we are His beloved.

Today, I was one car away from an accident. 

While driving to work, I witnessed a vehicular accident unfold before my eyes. The driver of a car parked on the roadside suddenly opened the door and hit a passing motorcycle with 3 passengers, a kid sandwiched between the guy driver and a lady. The motorcycle reacted by swerving to the opposite side, wobbled for a few seconds, and finally slammed into the car that was just passing by on the left side, which was the car right in front of my car. The lady fell to the ground and seemed hurt, while the kid started crying. Though it did not involve blood or dead bodies (thank God!), I am very very thankful that it wasn't me that got into that particular accident. I could have been that other car that was just passing through if only I drove a bit faster or overtook that car in front of me before we got to that part of the highway. Imagine if that were me... I would not have been able to make it to school on time and join our very first field trip for the School Year, which I myself organized. I would not have been able to see my kids' eyes light up after seeing the tiger, the lion, the horse or the turtle that they only get to see in our books.  I really believe that it's purely God's saving grace that I escaped danger today. This simple incident is His response to the stubborn, sinful, doubting me, His way of telling me, "Hello?! I'm here. I won't ever break my promise, silly. I will be with you. You are mine. I love you" "God indeed is my savior" as today's Psalms reminded me. His grace is really inescapable. 

I don’t really like driving to work because of the long drive and the ridiculous morning traffic along Marcos Highway. But when I really have to, like today, I make the most out of it by relishing the time alone that comes with it. It's also a solemn moment when I get to pray to God as I am sure only He can hear me (Yes, I literally talk. So if you happen to see me driving along, I am not going crazy. Hehe.). So this morning, that's just what I did. I poured my heart out to Him, asking Him to bless me and my loved ones, offering to Him my plans and dreams (Rye's too!), and holding on to Him for strength to go through the day and the coming weeks that I know would be heavy. When I was done with my piece, I turned on the ipod and tuned in to my Hillsong playlist. 

The song that was playing in the background when the accident occurred was Rye's most(-esssst) favorite praise song of all time - "Till I See You." I was singing along and even close to tears because I felt that God was intimately and lovingly speaking to me, as if He were right beside me in the passenger seat. The line "And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home, I will trust in You."  struck me and penetrated my heart... especially the last part - "I will trust in You." And there I was, entrusting my day, entrusting my future, entrusting my life, entrusting everything to the Lord, and then, KABOOM. At that moment, I am saved once more. 

Doubt has no place in your heart, if you have faith in a Big God. 

If God is for us, then, who can be against us? No one. 
If I am with God, who can take me down? Nothing. 

Not fear, not stress, not failures, not problems, not sin. 

If He saved me from that little accident today, what more with the difficulties, the problems, the challenges that I am facing and about to face? Bring it on.

TRUST. 

As that ancient sign on EDSA says, "Jesus saves." 

Ciao!

4:52 PM
August 13, 2010

Moved with compassion

Moved with compassion the master of that servant let him go and forgave him the loan... - Matthew 18:27

Moved with compassion.

That is how I imagine God is to us. Every time we falter, every time we fail to keep our promises to Him, He looks at us with great compassion, ready to forgive, ready to release us from our 'debt', and ready to welcome us back into His loving presence as if nothing grave happened.

The past weeks or so have been like a coming home of sorts for me. I was once lost but now have been found (again and again and again) by my Father. He really has His way of telling me "My child, it's time to go back." Taking His cue, I slowly but surely retraced my steps.

And I've never been better. 

Yes, my problems are still there. Nothing really has changed in my daily struggles at work and in school. But the difference lies in the my renewed faith in Him. I wake up each day more hopeful than the previous one... believing that I am one step closer to my dreams and goals which He has planted in my heart. I go through each day strengthened by His word and promises... knowing that nothing can bring me down for as long as I hold on to Him. I sleep at night with peace in my heart... confident that Someone up there loves me and is looking after me every minute, every second, in my every breath and every beat of my heart. 

I suddenly remembered the song "I love you" which goes:

I love You 'cause that's just what I am
I could never turn away from you and leave you all alone
Yes I love you though you have gone your own way
I could never leave you all alone and leave you way behind

Though you weigh no more that dust placed on the scale you rise
Though your worth is just as much as sand I love you just the same
I am love, I am love

Though your sins be dark as scarlet I will turn them white as snow
Though your sins be red as crimson they mean nothing more to me
For I made you and you're meant for me for all eternity
I have loved you, yes I love you, and I always will love you

I love you 'cause that's just what I am
I could never show you greater love than lay my life for you
Yes I love you what more proof do you ask
Show me any love that's greater than the love I've shown you

***

The Lord's endless mercies never really fail. They are new every morning. 

Just when I'm getting worked up with the endless tasks this busy month of August, I'd suddenly realize how His hand is already fixing everything for me. In big things and small.

For instance, I was thinking of skipping The Feast on Sunday with my family to work on a paper due on Monday even if I really want to listen to the talk. I was convincing myself to attend though cos I figured I should just give this time to God, especially with a talk all about giving Time to God (how ironic!). Lo and behold, my prof announced earlier that the deadline of our paper has been moved 1 week after the supposed deadline. Thank you, Lord! 

I know blessings will continue to pour from this day on. I really have a lot to do but I just TRUST Him and offer everything to Jesus. Miracles are on their way.

Ciao!

11:27 PM
August 12, 2010

I will be with you

For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. - Matthew 18:20

I remember the time when Rye and I would pray over the phone each night and offer our intentions to the Lord for the day that was to come. One of our daily prayer requests then was for Rye and his family to have a car so that his Mom won't have to commute to work everyday. And Heavenly of Heavenlies, would you believe that God granted our request in a snap? 

Rye called me one day and the frantic tone of his voice almost got me worried. But several deep gasps after, I learned that his Ate won a car from a raffle in SM Bicutan - a brand new Silver Suzuki Jimny, which Rye really liked. How wonderful! A fervent prayer instantly granted!

However, there was catch. It was not tax free. They had to cover 20% of the total value of the car, which was not at all small. So their family decided to sell the new car and they got a second hand Toyota with the money. But still, not bad at all cos imagine getting a car virtually free! God still answered our prayer, if you think about it. We just asked for a car, any car, and He granted our request.

One of the most trying times that Rye and I faced together was when he was in Smart, and at the same time, I just graduated and was about to start working in a headhunting firm. Again, each night, we'd pray together whether on the phone, through text or email, intensely asking God to reveal to us His plans through His Word so we'd know what to do next. Rye was having such great difficulty at work that one time, he stayed through the night to finish a presentation. He was even having nightmares about his nightmare of a workplace and boss, crying with deep breaths of anxiety, each night. Yes, each night. I, on the other hand, was adjusting to my new work and it was not at all easy for me as well. Being the timid person that I am, I was not used to talking to so many people. I had my own versions of panic attacks. I did not want the next day to come. I'd also cry myself to sleep regretting why I accepted that job in the first place. 

After praying and praying, His answers eventually came. Not in an instant like the case of the brand new car, but they came, and that's what's important.

God said in His Word, "I will send you to the land of milk and honey" and that promise was fulfilled when Rye was able to get into the Management Trainee program in the "land of fresh milk and honey stars." I, on the other hand, followed suit after several months and finally pursued my Masters degree in Developmental Psychology at the Ateneo (my other dream school, after UP), and tried out teaching.

Fast-forward to 2009, Rye finally finished the CMT program and had the option to avail a car through a car plan. And guess what car he got?! A Silver Suzuki Jimny. A prayer re-answered! Right now, I am on my 3rd year of teaching little kids and close to finishing my MA. And I now realize why He put me in Ward Howell, which gave me the chance to talk to all sorts of people (who were older than me) and do all sorts of reports and personal profiles. You see, teaching kids do not just involve interfacing with kids all the time. There's also the admin side (lesson plan, weekly toddler reports, quarterly assessments) and also the parent-interface side (the much-dreaded Parent-Teacher Conferences). Being in that place somehow toughened me up and built up my confidence in speaking with (older) people (imagine having a client call with the president or CEO or the HR Director of a top FMCG company and interviewing all these executives. I die! Haha!).

It has not been an easy and straight path, I may say, each day bringing its unique set of difficulties and challenges. I've had my breaking points; Rye too. But the most important thing is we've kept our faith. We might have lost our focus (and continue to do so at times) at some points and turned away from God but He has His way of bringing us back. EVERYTIME.

This morning, I got an email from Rye that had a list of his dreams and prayer petitions. He started the email with the same verse above and said that it comes with a promise - "I am in the midst of them," loosely put "I will be with you." To quote Rye, he said "It is a promise, that not only that He is listening, but more importantly, He is here, He is present, He is faithful to those who have faith." Very true!

"I will be with you."

Yes, the Lord has kept that promise through all these years. Even if sometimes it is difficult to see His plans in difficult situations, He is there looking out for us. Eventually, we'll see His purpose and realize that our prayers and dreams have been granted - maybe (and usually) in a different form and at an unexpected time. His ways are truly not our ways. Who are we to question His wisdom? Remember, we can never outdo our God. NEVER.

I replied by adding my dreams and prayer petitions and everyday, we promise to offer these intentions to Him just as we did years ago and just as we've been doing until now. 

There truly is power in prayer, especially when shared. I am blessed to have Rye as my prayer partner through all these years and I know why we've stuck it out for almost 8 years - It's really because of Him. 

Pray. It works. 

Ciao!

7:26 PM
August 11, 2010

PS. Happy birthday to one of the sweetest persons in the world, Muriel :) Another prayer partner of mine. May all your dreams come true! *Hug*

PSS. Rye got an instant answer to his prayer about work:

"TRUST JESUS"

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