Like a child

“Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” - Matthew 19:14


Every time I'm feeling down about work, I always come back to this verse. It reminds me of my purpose... Of why I got here in the first place.


I'd like to think that through my job, I am helping build His kingdom. I am able to bring His little ones closer to Him just as He commands in the passage above. And that should suffice. God is enough.


Harder to see through this though at times, especially if you have financial matters to think about. You see, teaching is not the highest paying job in the world. It's really a job borne out of pure love and service. And that, I believe in all honesty and faith, is beautiful. 


Yet sometimes, in this harsh world we live in, pure love cannot place food on the table. Pure love cannot make dream weddings happen or Jason Magbanua onsite videos materialize from thin air. Haha. Hay. The stuff I'm thinking about.


But then again, I just believe that something great will come out of this. I have to constantly remind myself that I am planting healthy seeds today which I will eventually reap abundantly in the future... Soon! If this is really God's purpose and will for me, then it will allow me to grow in every aspect, in every way -- spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and even financially. It will come. Especially the last one. It will come :)


Lord, I pray that you give me child-like faith so I may trust you completely and surrender my life to you fully. Let your will be done. Amen.


Ciao!


10:40 AM
August 15



(August 14 Reflection)

Jesus saves


...I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you; you became mine, says the Lord GOD. - Ezekiel 16:8

You became Mine.

How sweet it is to be called Mine by our God. Nakakakilig.

With this simple statement comes one of His greatest promises to us - that He will never leave our side; that nothing can ever separate us from Him because we are His beloved.

Today, I was one car away from an accident. 

While driving to work, I witnessed a vehicular accident unfold before my eyes. The driver of a car parked on the roadside suddenly opened the door and hit a passing motorcycle with 3 passengers, a kid sandwiched between the guy driver and a lady. The motorcycle reacted by swerving to the opposite side, wobbled for a few seconds, and finally slammed into the car that was just passing by on the left side, which was the car right in front of my car. The lady fell to the ground and seemed hurt, while the kid started crying. Though it did not involve blood or dead bodies (thank God!), I am very very thankful that it wasn't me that got into that particular accident. I could have been that other car that was just passing through if only I drove a bit faster or overtook that car in front of me before we got to that part of the highway. Imagine if that were me... I would not have been able to make it to school on time and join our very first field trip for the School Year, which I myself organized. I would not have been able to see my kids' eyes light up after seeing the tiger, the lion, the horse or the turtle that they only get to see in our books.  I really believe that it's purely God's saving grace that I escaped danger today. This simple incident is His response to the stubborn, sinful, doubting me, His way of telling me, "Hello?! I'm here. I won't ever break my promise, silly. I will be with you. You are mine. I love you" "God indeed is my savior" as today's Psalms reminded me. His grace is really inescapable. 

I don’t really like driving to work because of the long drive and the ridiculous morning traffic along Marcos Highway. But when I really have to, like today, I make the most out of it by relishing the time alone that comes with it. It's also a solemn moment when I get to pray to God as I am sure only He can hear me (Yes, I literally talk. So if you happen to see me driving along, I am not going crazy. Hehe.). So this morning, that's just what I did. I poured my heart out to Him, asking Him to bless me and my loved ones, offering to Him my plans and dreams (Rye's too!), and holding on to Him for strength to go through the day and the coming weeks that I know would be heavy. When I was done with my piece, I turned on the ipod and tuned in to my Hillsong playlist. 

The song that was playing in the background when the accident occurred was Rye's most(-esssst) favorite praise song of all time - "Till I See You." I was singing along and even close to tears because I felt that God was intimately and lovingly speaking to me, as if He were right beside me in the passenger seat. The line "And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home, I will trust in You."  struck me and penetrated my heart... especially the last part - "I will trust in You." And there I was, entrusting my day, entrusting my future, entrusting my life, entrusting everything to the Lord, and then, KABOOM. At that moment, I am saved once more. 

Doubt has no place in your heart, if you have faith in a Big God. 

If God is for us, then, who can be against us? No one. 
If I am with God, who can take me down? Nothing. 

Not fear, not stress, not failures, not problems, not sin. 

If He saved me from that little accident today, what more with the difficulties, the problems, the challenges that I am facing and about to face? Bring it on.

TRUST. 

As that ancient sign on EDSA says, "Jesus saves." 

Ciao!

4:52 PM
August 13, 2010

Moved with compassion

Moved with compassion the master of that servant let him go and forgave him the loan... - Matthew 18:27

Moved with compassion.

That is how I imagine God is to us. Every time we falter, every time we fail to keep our promises to Him, He looks at us with great compassion, ready to forgive, ready to release us from our 'debt', and ready to welcome us back into His loving presence as if nothing grave happened.

The past weeks or so have been like a coming home of sorts for me. I was once lost but now have been found (again and again and again) by my Father. He really has His way of telling me "My child, it's time to go back." Taking His cue, I slowly but surely retraced my steps.

And I've never been better. 

Yes, my problems are still there. Nothing really has changed in my daily struggles at work and in school. But the difference lies in the my renewed faith in Him. I wake up each day more hopeful than the previous one... believing that I am one step closer to my dreams and goals which He has planted in my heart. I go through each day strengthened by His word and promises... knowing that nothing can bring me down for as long as I hold on to Him. I sleep at night with peace in my heart... confident that Someone up there loves me and is looking after me every minute, every second, in my every breath and every beat of my heart. 

I suddenly remembered the song "I love you" which goes:

I love You 'cause that's just what I am
I could never turn away from you and leave you all alone
Yes I love you though you have gone your own way
I could never leave you all alone and leave you way behind

Though you weigh no more that dust placed on the scale you rise
Though your worth is just as much as sand I love you just the same
I am love, I am love

Though your sins be dark as scarlet I will turn them white as snow
Though your sins be red as crimson they mean nothing more to me
For I made you and you're meant for me for all eternity
I have loved you, yes I love you, and I always will love you

I love you 'cause that's just what I am
I could never show you greater love than lay my life for you
Yes I love you what more proof do you ask
Show me any love that's greater than the love I've shown you

***

The Lord's endless mercies never really fail. They are new every morning. 

Just when I'm getting worked up with the endless tasks this busy month of August, I'd suddenly realize how His hand is already fixing everything for me. In big things and small.

For instance, I was thinking of skipping The Feast on Sunday with my family to work on a paper due on Monday even if I really want to listen to the talk. I was convincing myself to attend though cos I figured I should just give this time to God, especially with a talk all about giving Time to God (how ironic!). Lo and behold, my prof announced earlier that the deadline of our paper has been moved 1 week after the supposed deadline. Thank you, Lord! 

I know blessings will continue to pour from this day on. I really have a lot to do but I just TRUST Him and offer everything to Jesus. Miracles are on their way.

Ciao!

11:27 PM
August 12, 2010

I will be with you

For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. - Matthew 18:20

I remember the time when Rye and I would pray over the phone each night and offer our intentions to the Lord for the day that was to come. One of our daily prayer requests then was for Rye and his family to have a car so that his Mom won't have to commute to work everyday. And Heavenly of Heavenlies, would you believe that God granted our request in a snap? 

Rye called me one day and the frantic tone of his voice almost got me worried. But several deep gasps after, I learned that his Ate won a car from a raffle in SM Bicutan - a brand new Silver Suzuki Jimny, which Rye really liked. How wonderful! A fervent prayer instantly granted!

However, there was catch. It was not tax free. They had to cover 20% of the total value of the car, which was not at all small. So their family decided to sell the new car and they got a second hand Toyota with the money. But still, not bad at all cos imagine getting a car virtually free! God still answered our prayer, if you think about it. We just asked for a car, any car, and He granted our request.

One of the most trying times that Rye and I faced together was when he was in Smart, and at the same time, I just graduated and was about to start working in a headhunting firm. Again, each night, we'd pray together whether on the phone, through text or email, intensely asking God to reveal to us His plans through His Word so we'd know what to do next. Rye was having such great difficulty at work that one time, he stayed through the night to finish a presentation. He was even having nightmares about his nightmare of a workplace and boss, crying with deep breaths of anxiety, each night. Yes, each night. I, on the other hand, was adjusting to my new work and it was not at all easy for me as well. Being the timid person that I am, I was not used to talking to so many people. I had my own versions of panic attacks. I did not want the next day to come. I'd also cry myself to sleep regretting why I accepted that job in the first place. 

After praying and praying, His answers eventually came. Not in an instant like the case of the brand new car, but they came, and that's what's important.

God said in His Word, "I will send you to the land of milk and honey" and that promise was fulfilled when Rye was able to get into the Management Trainee program in the "land of fresh milk and honey stars." I, on the other hand, followed suit after several months and finally pursued my Masters degree in Developmental Psychology at the Ateneo (my other dream school, after UP), and tried out teaching.

Fast-forward to 2009, Rye finally finished the CMT program and had the option to avail a car through a car plan. And guess what car he got?! A Silver Suzuki Jimny. A prayer re-answered! Right now, I am on my 3rd year of teaching little kids and close to finishing my MA. And I now realize why He put me in Ward Howell, which gave me the chance to talk to all sorts of people (who were older than me) and do all sorts of reports and personal profiles. You see, teaching kids do not just involve interfacing with kids all the time. There's also the admin side (lesson plan, weekly toddler reports, quarterly assessments) and also the parent-interface side (the much-dreaded Parent-Teacher Conferences). Being in that place somehow toughened me up and built up my confidence in speaking with (older) people (imagine having a client call with the president or CEO or the HR Director of a top FMCG company and interviewing all these executives. I die! Haha!).

It has not been an easy and straight path, I may say, each day bringing its unique set of difficulties and challenges. I've had my breaking points; Rye too. But the most important thing is we've kept our faith. We might have lost our focus (and continue to do so at times) at some points and turned away from God but He has His way of bringing us back. EVERYTIME.

This morning, I got an email from Rye that had a list of his dreams and prayer petitions. He started the email with the same verse above and said that it comes with a promise - "I am in the midst of them," loosely put "I will be with you." To quote Rye, he said "It is a promise, that not only that He is listening, but more importantly, He is here, He is present, He is faithful to those who have faith." Very true!

"I will be with you."

Yes, the Lord has kept that promise through all these years. Even if sometimes it is difficult to see His plans in difficult situations, He is there looking out for us. Eventually, we'll see His purpose and realize that our prayers and dreams have been granted - maybe (and usually) in a different form and at an unexpected time. His ways are truly not our ways. Who are we to question His wisdom? Remember, we can never outdo our God. NEVER.

I replied by adding my dreams and prayer petitions and everyday, we promise to offer these intentions to Him just as we did years ago and just as we've been doing until now. 

There truly is power in prayer, especially when shared. I am blessed to have Rye as my prayer partner through all these years and I know why we've stuck it out for almost 8 years - It's really because of Him. 

Pray. It works. 

Ciao!

7:26 PM
August 11, 2010

PS. Happy birthday to one of the sweetest persons in the world, Muriel :) Another prayer partner of mine. May all your dreams come true! *Hug*

PSS. Rye got an instant answer to his prayer about work:

"TRUST JESUS"

Huggy Buggy.

Four hugs per day was an antidote for depression.
Eight hugs per day would achieve mental stability.
Twelve hugs per day would achieve real psychological growth.


I got a powerful dose of hugs today from the kiddos. 
Mico and Santino approached me during Circle Time and gave me big hugs out of the blue.  Soon enough, the rest of the class did the same :) Hurray for huggy buggy day.


You all made me smile today. Thank you!

Wait!

Today, my leave for tomorrow got approved. I have an available sub and Teacher Leia is more than ready to lead the class. Yey! Just wish it could be a vacation leave but NO. Need to finish urgent matters for my MA. Yet, Thank you, Lord, for the 'extra' time which I badly need to do what I have to do.

***
Today, Mommy picked me up from work an hour late. But thank God for the ride home. I can't imagine commuting all the way to Antipolo everyday. I did it twice in my lifetime and I died. Even if I have a lot of things to do these days and prefer to go home right after work, to be able to work on those things, I've been resisting the urge to complain and been conditioning myself to just make do with the messed up schedule. If you know me, a minute late on my watch will leave me cranky and pissed. But lately, I'm slowly learning to accept that my watch is not the only watch that matters. I am learning to being patient, the intricate art of waiting, which I admit is not on my best traits list. God has been teaching me to WAIT in more ways that I can imagine, in big and small matters in life.

Yes, He's been telling me to wait with intense faith that whatever I ask for shall be given to me in His appointed time. I believe that my present situation is but a momentary stopover. Good things are yet to come. Greater things are yet to come. In due time, I will reap the fruits of what I've been sowing for the past years, especially in that area of my work. Though it's been tough planting the 'seeds,' that I sometimes end up questioning a lot of things in the process, I believe, I know.... good things come to those who wait. All the hard work and sacrifice I'm putting into this will not go to waste. Abundance in every good work... that is His promise.

And by the way, after the long wait for my ride, Mommy treated me to Sizzling Pepper Steak in Eastwood. Yum! See, instant miracle from up above.

***
After our late lunch in Eastwood, we headed to Robinson's Metro East cos Mommy needed to buy stuff from the supermarket. I took a detour at Booksale, one of the happiest places on earth (weeee! hehe.), browsed through the books on my favorite children's books rack, hopeful, that I'd score a classic. Instead of getting something for my collection, I got 2 "Amelia's Notebook" books for Kitkat, which made me even happier. She's my book buddy here at home, the only one in the family who likes to read besides me. I know they're not much and I am not really the gift-giving type of person, but she is (that's her love language - gifts). I hope I made her day somehow... "for the Lord loves a cheerful giver." Instant reward for the 90 that she got in her Math exam! Good job, Kittypurts!



Lord, teach me to be generous.
Teach me to serve you as you deserve;
to give and not to count the cost,
to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek for rest,
to labor and not to ask for reward,
save that of knowing that I do your will.

Bless me more so I could bless other people more. Amen!

Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each must do as already determined, without sadness or compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. Moreover, God is able to make every grace abundant for you, so that in all things, always having all you need, you may have an abundance for every good work.  - 2 Corinthians 9:6-8

Ciao!

9:34 PM
August 10, 2010

I am a Preschool Teacher

I love my job because...

I can make little kids who miss their mommies and daddies stop crying after a few minutes.

I get to play with, run after, tickle, and make the kiddos laugh to their hearts content everyday. Nothing beats seeing big round eyes turn into slits. Happiness.

I get to listen to the craziest and funniest stories in the world! I wish I can put all those stories in writing. Crazy crazy kids. I'm smiling as I write this. Haha!

I get to be a kid again for a couple of hours, each and everyday. Simple. Innocent. Carefree. It's refreshing!

I get to teach the Lord's beloved how to pray... with matching closed palms and closed eyes. You should see them! Heehee. The most heartfelt prayers I've heard in my life (e.g. Thank You, Jesus, for the hippo! Thank You, Jesus for the dump truck! Thank You, Jesus, for Teacher Trina!). Beats the best worship leaders of our time, huh?

:)

Thank You, Lord, for my job. Though I grumble at times, I still thank you for giving me the opportunity to let my kids learn more about You each day. You are truly amazing. Amen.

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Matthew 6:21


Ciao!

August 9, 2010
10:36 PM
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