Grumble not

But on the way, the people lost their patience and spoke against God and Moses. They complained, "Why did you bring us out of Egypt to die in this desert, where there is no food or water? We can't stand any more of this miserable food." -Numbers 21:5

Grumble. Grumble. Grumble.

That's one of the clutters in my life that I so try hard to dispose.

As much as I am a worry-wart, I am also a compulsive complainer. I tend to complain a lot about a lot of stuff. Add to this my patience and temper issues. You would not want to be near me when I am in a bad mood (and PMS-ing). I have warned you.

For instance, just this morning, I brought a car to work. Right after saying my Good Morning, Lord Prayer, bursts of impatience about the slow car before me shot right out of the same mouth! That I found myself saying sorry immediately to God. My temper fumes me up at times.

Or take the case of the busted aircon in school. Oh, you can just imagine the heat and the sweat. It's like a sauna classroom. Who would like to work in such 'desert' of a work place? As much as I don't want my asthmatic kids to get sick because of this, I hate it because it's simply uncomfortable to work in a hot and inappropriately ventilated room. I could rant about this all day, I tell you.

But more than these trivial matters that I grumble about, you may often find me complaining about the long journey and the accompanying "wait" required through this particular desert of my life. Right now, I feel like I am in the same place as the people in Egypt from the passage -- starving, depressed, and feeling deprived from the good life. I realize that I repeatedly utter the same script "Lord, I can't stand any more of this miserable 'food'!" Food, being salary, work load, school work, etcetera... just fill in the blank. "Why, oh, why did I get to this place?!" I usually mumble and ask.

Yet, I am reminded once again to be patient and to trust God with His plans for me. He is telling me to hold on just a little bit longer. After all, the desert and drought are all part of the journey. They are merely passageways going to the abundant land of milk and honey. Come to think of it, a journey would not be a journey if I just magically vanish from point A and magically appear in Canaan at the blink of an eye. Not exciting, right? If it took forty years for Moses and the Israelites to cross the desert, then I know, I, too, will have my own 40 years in the desert until I reach the land of my dreams.

As challenging things may be at times, I have to constantly remind myself that the journey never ends in the desert. That at this point, sand in my shoes should not worry me... it just means I have to press on and move further until I finally set foot on the gates of Eden. The Promised Land will come, eventually, I believe. And yes, I will make sure my dreams do not die in the Sahara in the process.

And so, gathering all the positive energies of the universe, I have come to a resolve. 

Lord, I shall try my best to grumble not. 

Teach me your ways, O, God. Help me to be patient, to persist as I step into the deserts of my life, and be content and remain humble as I wait. Amen.

Ciao!