Monday Morning RushI don't like Monday Mornings. Especially when you realize all the things that you failed to accomplish over the weekend and all the things that you should've done but completely forgot about.
I woke up this morning in a grumpy mood. I was supposed to wake up at 500 but of course I didn't. Just hit the snooze button again and again until I had to force my still sleepy eyes to open and my still numb body to get up because it was already 615. 30 minutes, as I have proven to myself countless times, are not enough for me to get ready. So I had to rush rush rush to finish my morning routine, which is not really the best way to start my day and my week. Mommy was already nagging me to go downstairs as I was grabbing things here and there. I could hear the macho busina of the Volvo, in unison with the nagging voice of my mom, which made things even worse. We left at 7am already. I was grumbling to myself while trying to sift through my memory to check if I forgot anything. Then, a brilliant thought hit me which made me want to slap myself. I suddenly realized that I could have avoided such rush and should've gone with Mommy and Kit who were leaving at 730 to make it at COJ by 900. My class was not until 900! Bummer.
I was not so into teaching today. I guess it's normal. The job also has it's ups and downs. Plus, the heat today was unbearable.
Ateneo Mondays
On my way to Ateneo, gigantic raindrops began to bang on the car's roof. What's up with that. I was so convinced that it's already summer, meaning no rain. Global warming is to blame.
Thank God for free WIFI in Ateneo, I got to chat with Rye on YM a bit. I was supposed to study but ended up not studying again. Instead, I killed the boredom through Facebook and Multiply. Obviously, I am still stuck and now rotting in this long streak of unproductivity. This has been going on for weeks. Thanks to the wonderful world of the world wide web.
I was not really sleepy but I felt the urge to get myself a cup of coffee from Figaro before class. I tried fighting it but failed. I still believe that a cup for 70 bucks (at the least) is not worth it. Yet, here I am buying again. Good thing students get 10% discount, making it more enticing. The guy at the counter even marketed to me their new promo -- you get 50% discount on the 2nd cup if you order 2. Haha. And yes, I just have to mention this -- Ateneo has 2 Figaro branches inside the campus!
Actually, I would have preferred the yummy 12-peso Capuccino from the Nestle vending machine over the 70-peso Americano from the coffee shop but the distance is just not worth it. I was too tamad, especially on a hot and humid summer afternoon. The nearest to my classroom would be the one on the farthest end of CTC. Compare that distance with Figaro, which was just right across. (Rye, can we request for a vendo in our building???)
I got to class quite early but Fr. Waji was already there. He is just the most OC prof I've ever had. Never been late. Never been unprepared for class.
I was actually not so keen to be part of this class because I really wanted to take Cognitive Development this sem, under Dr. Emmy Liwag. But I was told that I had to take Cognitive Psychology first, which was a core subject, as a prerequisite. So I had no choice. I also had some difficulty understanding Fr. Waji's accent in my previous class with him, which amped up the hesitation a notch higher.
But the Lord has his reasons for placing me there. Little did I know that I'll gain so much from being under him for 1 school year. I now consider Fr. Waji as one of the best professors I've ever had.
Fr. Waji is such an intelligent person. He teaches in Harvard, MIT and Boston College after all. His college degree was in Mathematics. He has an MA in Statistics and in Educational Psychology, and a Ph.D in Psychology. He is one of the few Psychologists in the field of moral psychology. His long list of credentials says it all.
He is also a very passionate teacher. He is devoted to his students. He wants us to learn things that really matter. He said that we can do away with the heaps of information that are being fed to us for as long as we remember the important stuff. At the end of each session, he sums up the whole discussion in one sentence, and that's all we have to remember. He is very very generous with his knowledge and resources. Whatever material or piece of info he has that he knows would benefit us, he passes on to us. He even painstakingly scans his books just so we won't spend on photocopying anymore.
Fr. Waji is most OC about our Critique papers. He said that as Grad Students, we had to learn how to write Academic papers in the form of a 3-page Critique Paper. According to him, one of the requirements in Harvard was to write a critique. If the panel does not like how it's written, it goes straight to the bin and your Ivy League dream is forever shattered. That's how critical it's supposed to be for us. At first, I couldn't understand why he made such a big fuss over our Critiques. He would repeat and repeat his instructions and thoroughly discuss each component of the paper to the class. You could see the frustration on his face everytime he does so. I guess it's his "panghihinayang" because he really believes we can do so much more, we can do so much better. He sees the potential in each one of us that we are not capable of seeing ourselves.
I used to stress over it so much. He has such high standards that I felt inadequate to meet them and to come up with a paper that he'd approve of. I even remember crying about it before because he seemed so difficult to please. I'd spend a day without sleep just to come up with the best paper each time. It's a challenge to come up with substantial content and it's even a greater challenge to fit all your thoughts and points in 3 pieces of paper. But every time he returns my paper, my scores were always more than what I expected. They were surprisingly and perfectly fine. Yet, I couldn't believe it. Despite the high grades, my thoughts were still clouded by my doubts. I thought that Fr. Waji was just being nice. The dread I felt persisted to the point that I didn't like going to class anymore. I hated it. I felt that Fr. Waji's expectations were too high and his requirements were unreasonable.
But now, I am a changed woman.
I absolutely get HIM now. His critiques have proven to be such a good mental and academic exercise. It's not the typical reflection paper or thought paper, wherein you just type in whatever's on your mind. His critiques has taught me to be critical, to not just accept an author's ideas but more importantly, to question them. I know the practice I got from his class will be most helpful when I start writing my thesis and when I defend it. His critiques has really pushed me to think.. to think harder.. to think hardest.
Fr. Waji has taught me, most importantly, to challenge myself as a Psychologist -- so I may work to the best of my capacities on becoming an expert in my field, who has insights to share to the world and who can someday speak with authority and due credibility. Yes, admittedly, as a student, I've become less assertive in what I believe in. That feeling of inadequacy, that lingering thought that I'll never learn enough and I'll never know enough has scared me for the longest time. I've always had this "alanganin" instinct. Even after graduating from UP, cum laude and all, and even after passing Ateneo and pursuing further studies, I am too shy to speak up with passion, confidence and force when it comes to the knowledge I have gained over the years. But Fr. Waji believes otherwise -- he does not doubt what I am capable of doing and becoming. Now I know why he never tires of explaining the mechanics of the Critique paper -- it's simply because he knows we can do it!
Today, he made it known to the class that he is resigning as a Professor in Ateneo. It came as a shock but I now see where he's coming from.
Despite his strict rules and clearcut requirements, Fr. Waji is very generous when it comes to grades for as long as he sees that true learning has taken place. The system is now questioning his evaluation methods because students in has class tend to get high grades. There's utterly nothing wrong with that, if you come to think of it. In fact, aren't they supposed to be happy that their students are excelling? He said that this really came as insult to him. He is an expert in evaluation and assessment being a mathematician and statistician, and now, he is being questioned because of his grading system.
I now see the flaw in the current system, which Fr. Waji has just revealed to us. In the prevailing system, a 100% is a like reaching for the moon or shooting for the stars. The
doubt cloud always stays afloat over a student who gets a 100% from a professor. This is because the excellent student is very unlikely, unexpected, and just abnormal. He is most likely to be questioned than to be praised for his "extraordinary" achievement. As in Fr. Waji's case, the professor also does not escape the questions.
On the other hand, the average student is the norm. A grade of 70% is the norm. Mediocrity then becomes the norm, the rule of thumb, the standard. Students are expected to fail at times, and maybe excel at times. It's the normal occurence.
Fr. Waji cannot take this, simply because for him,
100% is the norm. Students are capable of being excellent and he does not doubt this at all. He strives for excellence and he also expects excellence from his students. But he does his part -- he does all he can to equip his students well so they may maximize their capabilities, making excellence and achievement more attainable for them. It is possible.
Right now, I feel sad because of the announcement and at the same time really priveleged to have been his student for 2 semesters. I look up to him as an academician, researcher and psychologist. I now appreciate his kindness and give him my utmost respect. He deserves it. Too bad, some just do not get him and see through what he does for his students. As unexpected as it is, I think I am really going to miss his crazy antics in class and even his accent!
As a teacher myself, I also have a lot to learn from Fr. Waji. He has taught me not to look at my students as inadequate to begin with, but as potentially capable of doing great things. He has reminded me to see what they have and to discover and uncover potential, rather than focus on what they do not have and currently cannot do yet. A hopeful mindset is better than a doubting one. Each deserves a 100%, not a measly 70%.
Fr. Waji, thank you for the lessons! I pray that you continue to inspire other people through your unconventional ways of teaching =)
Time to rest and incubate the ideas running in my head. Hopefully, they materialize into something worthwhile when I wake up.
Ciao!
March 10
12:58am
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