Weekender

Week 1 over... And so far, it's been great. The time apart is actually doing us good.
We're growing together and we're also growing apart in a good way. =)
Happy 6 years and 2 months, Babe!
38 more days!

My Saturday

I finally made it happen --- Jogging!
Kara almost bailed out on me but I was committed to do this, this time around. Aboard the ginormous Starex, we headed to Ateneo and did what we had to do. Although I easily got tired due to lack of intense physical activity in the last 6 months, it felt great inside that I said yes to this and made sure that we went on with the plan. With or without Kara, I am going to this more often. I need to be fit and fab for summer!

After jogging (and walking. haha.) for almost an hour, we had to face reality once again. We had to go to class, our dreaded Saturday class - Quanti. I really have developed an aversion for numbers. Numbers overwhelm me sometimes. Numbers are scary. Oh my! But then again, I have committed to this and I will finish this course to the best of my ability. I can do this. I love Quanti!

From Student Mode, I then shifted to Youth Mode. Though I started stressed (my brothers are sooooo slow!!), I definitely ended my Youth day really really blessed. For the first part of the healing activity, Dreus instructed us to write all our burdens, worries, and past hurts and memories on a piece of paper. At first, I had no idea what to write until I began writing furiously to the Lord. I realized then that for the longest time, I have lived in fear - fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of being alone, fear of going beyond my comfort zone. Yes, I have always played it safe. My choices in life had always been on the safe side. I don't want that anymore. I want to live life fully, in abundance as he has promised. I need to widen my horizon, broaden my reach, and open myself to limitless opportunities and miracles. Yes, I am growing more committed to this day by day - this has really become my year to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.

After symbolically surrendering our burdens, we had an opportunity to affirm and forgive people in community. The Lord filled my love tank once again to the brim with words of affirmation that I didn't really expect from various people. Thank you, thank you, dear friends. It's a gentle and reassuring reminder that I am loved and that the Lord has worked countless miracles in my life. The Lord has never let me down through the years. I realized that if others can see those beautiful things in me, I should all the more acknowledge them because the Lord made me as I am. I should love myself more, not in the narcistic sense, but as a person of worth, especially in God's eyes. To look down upon myself because of my insecurities is like an insult to Him because He created me. Makes a lot of sense...

Stayed on for a while (more like an hour) after the worship. I am not really a talker but was surprised that by the end of the day, I had talked much more than I could imagine. I was blabbing here in there, sharing insights and kwentos, and giving advise and encouragement. I felt I was in my element. Believe me, it was no longer I but Him working in me. Magugulat ka nalang talaga minsan!

I had no plans of going out tonight since Mico had to watch a play and I didn't want to bring Manong to Makati where we usually head to after worship. However, I got a text from Nini asking if we wanted to meet up at Kara's place. Good thing the parents went ballroom dancing in greenhills, which meant that we would sleep in New Manila. Going home was not a problem so I had myself dropped off at Kara's. The rumbling car outside signalled Nini's arrival. Haha! Went to 711 to buy a couple of bottles and a can of Vodka Cruiser Wannabe -- eek. tasted like strawberry candy with alcohol. Nini brought along her theater friend, Raven, who helped keep us awake through the night! Haha. We did some catching up, then, decided to have coffee when we realized that the beer was already warm. We stayed in Starbucks (along Missouri St. in Greenhills) for a while and decided to head home at around 130am. 130am! I think that was the first time I went home at 130am and it felt liberating to be honest! I am really surprised at how Daddy has been giving more freedom to move and breathe... and grow lately. Well, he actually texted me to go home at around 12pm but we were just on our way to greenhills then. I told him that we will just grab coffee from Starbucks and that Nini will bring me home. Mommy, earlier that night, texted me our helper's cell number and instructed me to just call her up to ask her to open the gate when I arrive. After which, everything was okay. No further texts, no further callbacks, no further reminders. Galing! Hehe. I am really starting to feel more and more like an adult. I guess the concept of emerging adulthood, which is the in between stage between adolescence and adulthood (cue to sing Britney's song... "I'm not a girl, not yet a womaaaaaan!!"), could be attributed not only to the individual but the context and factors surrounding her (or him). For instance -- Parents not ready to let go (I am 23 for Pete's sake!), being part of a group that's called YOUTH when you already belong to the young adult bracket, being a student once again, staying with the family and not having the chance to live the independent life (because I don't have the means yet! and I don't think I'd survive!), living on allowance and minimum pay, just to name a few. Even if your age is supposed to be that of Adults already, your current circumstances just reinforce otherwise. It's really a struggle sometimes. Can be confusing at times as well. But in time, I know I'd eventually break away from my "younger" self and go beyond this zone of comfort and safety, in order to give room for the "adult" in me to grow. Eventually!

My Sunday

The feast is ready to begin...

My family has been regularly attending Bo Sanchez' THE FEAST in Valle Verde Country Club. I like how they try to change the typical ways of doing things -- boring Mass with boring and super long homily, dragging worship, dragging talks that leave you asking in the end "So what's the point?"... and It's really refreshing. Attending The Feast doesn't mean that I am leaving my community. So far, it's been a great venue for me to be nourished after working so hard and giving my all in serving the Lord through the Youth Ministry. A talk with Teacher Cecilia before made me realize that I cannot just give and give and give... because I also need to be fed, to recharge, to rest. Because if i use up all of the resources I have and not stop by for a refill, I'd really feel empty, lacking, burned out. It's nice to be a spectator, to be a recipient of talks and teachings once again. It feels great to be able to sit down and relax, and not be pressured to stand up in front of everyone. It feels great to be the follower once again. The Lord really has his way of filling in the gaps in our lives. What we lack, he fills.

Had my haircut in David's Galle. Upon Joni's advice, I am going to let my hair grow longer. He said that I should have my next trim in 3 months. Okay, I will. It's been a long time since I had long long hair anyway. Maybe it's really time. I need the change. Change is good, as I am learning these days.

MikeV.! Happy Birthday! Sorry if we came in late but hope you had a great one. =)

JonJep gave me the invite to Ate Cla and Lem's wedding earlier. Weddings really get me excited cos it's such a happy and momentous event in one's life. I like attending weddings, seeing wedding pictures, watching On-site wedding videos even of people I don't know because despite the drama (the usual crying, giving away of the bride. walking down the aisle, etc.), the wedding marks the start of a brand new life bestowed upon 2 people by the Lord through marriage. It's the unfolding of a love story. It's full of love and romantic. Nakaka-in love. Hay. Anyway... saka na yun.

Tomorrow is Monday again. Another week of teaching and studying! Can't believe the school year is almost over. Can't wait for summer to begin!

Ciao!