Real

Rye cannot be disturbed right now. He's watching some movie on HBO which he claims as better than old school. He cannot talk straight when I called.. twice. Haha. Crazy.

I was super late for class this morning. Mico took his time that's why we were able to leave a quarter before 8 already. Traffic in Amang gets worse everyday.

I had fun with the Preschool kids today. It's amazing how much they grow in the span of just a year. Yes, they've really grown and I feel so proud. Funny guy, Diego, asked me to carry him earlier. Of course, I refused. He's such a big boy already. He's one of my faves. Hehe. Even Enzo looks more mature now. My nursery kids are improving as well. Yanna has become more fluent in english. Her favorite line goes "I am so very very _____." Hungry? Happy? Sleepy? Just fill in the blank. Paulene can now sit through Circle! Most improved, by the way! Annika knows our routine very well and attempts to be the leader of the pack whenever we go up for split circle. Whenever I ask her a question and some bibo kid butts in and answers, she says right away "Are you Annika?" Haha. Funny. Elias, the most recent addition is getting there.

Gateway

After class, I tried commuting going home via LRT2 on my own for the very first time. It's not really hard, actually. The heat is just bothersome. I was willing to take a cab but decided to ride the train so I can pass by Gateway. I wanted to look for swimsuits but so far, I haven't found the perfect fit. I am not going to rush this process. Congratulate me cos it took great effort and extra will power to suppress the impulsive buyer in me! I will find the perfect pair in time. Instead, I bought a yellow summer dress. Haha.

I also checked out the books in Fullybooked. It's actually the first thing I did in Gateway. I read a review of The Abstinence Teacher in a magazine a couple of weeks ago and became interested in the plot. I checked the shelves, but to no avail. I went to customer service and luckily, they had the book. It was 650 bucks. I thought about it for a good 10 minutes and finally decided to purchase it with Daddy's blessing *wink*.

Books cost so much these days. No wonder, a lot of people do not read anymore. But I'd like to believe that books are investments -- worthy and timeless investments in fact. If I had more money, I'd spend a big chunk of it on books. Actually, I am now -- with my children's books and occasional fiction buys. Booksale is love. Booksale is a lifesaver.

I just have to make time to read my new purchase in the coming days. Well, I know me. If it's really good, I won't put it down. But if it's just so-so. It'll take me forever to finish. I've got to finish Yes Man by the way -- it's actually a feel-good book but kinda predictable that's why I've been stuck in the first few chapters. I'm excited to read my new one though.

My Life as a Grad Student

I went to the 2009 Research Colloquium for Psych Grad Students. Being there amidst a sea of esteemed psychologists made me feel like a real grad student and a real psychologist-in-the-making. The academic atmosphere actually made me feel good about where I am now. It's one of those days that I am reassured that I have made the right choice.

There were 4 presentors, one for each concentration. They had really interesting studies. My favorite was that of the Dev Psych student, Abi Quinones, of course, which was a qualitative study on the identity explorations of Filipino adolescents. I am officially a fan of Emergent Adulthood especially because I believe I am currently in that stage. Apparently, I am not the only one experiencing it and living this kind of life. There's quite a number of Filipinos out there who are way past the adolescent mark yet do not consider themselves adults -- somewhat like the tweens between childhood and adolescence. A lot of those I know share the same sentiments about being the semi-adults that we are -- where blurry lines become defined and defined lines become blurry in a snap. It's a very dynamic transition, which can get confusing at times. Believe me. There are times when I feel so sure about something then become unsure again after some time or when I think I've figured everything out then realize I have really not. Anyhow, people should study the concept more. It's a growing trend and becoming a very strong segment nowadays.

Being there made me realize one thing, I suck at reporting. I am amazed at how the presenters and a majority of psych people and profs speak very well in public and formal academic settings cos I don't , I can't. It's actually a downside of my being in UP. I didn't get to practice my public speaking skills that much because for reportings, anything goes. Whether you speak in English, Filipino, or Taglish -- doesn't matter. What's important is you understand each other. The means to an end is not important, in this case.

Another thing that struck me was that I am still a baby, when it comes to research. I am an infant, an amateur. No matter how I'd like to believe that UP has trained me well to do research, I now know that I have so much more to learn about it.

Just thinking about my thesis and the fact that I will do it alone scares me already. I feel unequipped. I know I have the capacities to do it though. It just seems to be such a daunting task to accomplish at this point.

Hence, I am resolved to work on these 2 skills - reporting and researching. I don't want to suck at these anymore. Time to improve. Time to change. Time to make things happen as I've been saying the past week or so.

I really want be better and I know I will. In time...

I want to be a REAL Psychologist, and not just pretend to know all those stuff.

I want to be a REAL adult, too.

Someday, someday..

Ciao!


March 11
11:15pm